The Progress Parade

By Aaron Goldhammer

Cleveland has not won a championship since 1964. I know you don’t need me to remind you of this fact.

After listening to the fans in the wake of two heart-breaking Browns losses, I have a suggestion to ease the pain of losing seasons and serious hard luck. It’s called the progress parade.

Many Browns’ fans seem so happy with the fact that the team has actually looked somewhat competent at times this year. To celebrate, let’s get the floats ready. Let’s cancel school. It’s ticker tape time baby…The Really Big Show presents:

THE PROGRESS PARADE….WOOHOO

We can have fans hold up banners that say “We Don’t Suck As Bad As Last Year!!”

We will have bands rock mediocre tunes all day. Nickelback for everyone…

We can design parade floats in the shape of giant arrows…pointing upward to signify all the succulent progress.

Eric Mangini

Eric Mangini can give the keynote speech. He’ll talk about learning how to win. He’ll declare “WE ARE MAKING PROGRESS. WE CAN MAKE A FIRST DOWN NOW!”

All the fans will cheer.

_________________________________

In all seriousness, I have a bit of a counter-argument for all of the Mangini supporters. I too am not ready to make a coaching change. I too see some progress. I’m not ready to abandon the Mangini-ship.

However, Mangini honks, don’t forget that the most difficult part of the journey out of the NFL’s sewer system lies ahead. Going from “one of the worst teams” to “slightly better than the worst teams” was the comparably easy part. Frankly, it’s hardly parade worthy.

Can Mangini’s Browns get to the point that they are WINNING games like the ones against the Jets and Jaguars?

Will we ever be throwing more than a progress parade?

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3 Comments

  1. Really wondering if these high ankle sprains are trainer problems at Browns staffing . Not taping QB ankles right for the motions they move out of?

  2. Gotta walk before you run…. Mangini needs one more year… by the way, he is making his 4th Qb change already and we have played 10 games…. not easy to win when you switch QB’s all the time

  3. A “Progress Parade” ? ….For the love of God, I sincerely hope you are joking!


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