The Cleveland Freak Show

By Will Burge

Was there a full moon last night in Cleveland? What the hell was going on?

I was covering the Cavaliers last night and everything felt normal but little did I know Cleveland was tuning into a giant freak show right before my very eyes.

The Boston Red Sox were in town and anyone who has been to an Indians game against chowder nation knows that Progressive Field turns into little Fenway.

Not only were not that many Red Sox fans, but there wasn’t anyone there at all!

I was not in attendance, but I was told by numerous people that there wasn’t anyone in the upper deck. It was not “a bad crowd” or “a little empty”. No, it was empty. Not a single soul in the upper deck.

About 300 feet away in Quicken Loans arena, the Cavaliers were winning. Seeing as how the Cavs had only won 15 games coming into last night, the win was weird enough.

How about Ryan Hollins though? He was 7 for 7 from the field?! Was last night Friday the 13th?

Ryan Hollins can’t usually make 7 baskets in a month, let alone 7 baskets in a night WHITOUT MISSING A SINGLE SHOT!

Then, about 2 miles down the road; a sure sign of the apocalypse was taking place.

The actor who once portrayed a convicted felon with a fastball like lightning took the stage in his “Rick Vaughn” jersey to a thunderous ovation.

As Charlie Sheen spewed buckets of verbal ridiculousness all over the stage, the crowd drank “Tiger Blood” and light up marijuana right in the middle of the historic State Theater.

The Indians win, the Cavaliers win, and even though he is a giant loser, Sheen is “winning”.

What a weird night.


1 Comment

  1. Clearly Charlie had a big dildo.

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